Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Squirrely Girl - The Anatomy of a Binge(averted).

8:30PM - Saturday Night. Returned from a wonderful dinner over at Casa de Toy, feeling comfortably full, ready for a quiet evening at home. Curled up with Harry Potter book.

8:50PM - It's quiet in here, too quiet.

9:00PM - Made a cup of tea, placed last three peppermint patty cookies(no sin greater) on a pretty plate and consciously enjoyed my dessert.

9:14PM - Returned to Harry Potter feeling smug and superior for my planned eating and control. Yay me.

9:25PM - No longer feeling smug and superior, feeling restless and agitated. In the back of my mind I know whats coming. Mixed feelings of dread, anticipation, anger, and acquiescence.

9:30PM - Close book, wander into kitchen to peruse contents of cabinets - Pretzels, oatmeal, canned tomatoes, black beans, Kashi bars? No. Staring blankly into the fridge, hmmmm cheese, cold cuts, olives, bread? Cheese toast! Pull half the items out. Stop, throw them all back in, take a deep breath, close the door and give myself a firm but kind pep talk about not being hungry, emotional eating, blah blah blah. Sent myself outside to get some air.

9:44PM - Back inside. Freaked myself out listening to random feral kitties make axe murderer noises in my backyard.

9:45PM - Walk past fridge, open it, close it, open it again. Close it again. Shit.

9:50PM - Sit down at the computer to write a blog entry. Perhaps of version of this very blog entry. Blank blog page gives me the finger. Play a game of online scrabble (OK 3 games).

10:50PM - Ass is asleep. Get up and wander around the house. Well, what do you know? I'm back in the freekin' kitchen again, standing in font of the cabinet. All still there. Open fridge. Nope, no changes in there either. *sigh* Give myself a stern "what the hell are you doing?" talking to and head back into the den.

11:00PM - Turn on the TV. Surf through all 77 channels of crap (4 or 5 times).

11:30PM - Ah! SNL. All is well.... until the damned fast food commercial. Are you f*#!ing kidding me!???

11:45PM - Standing in the kitchen again (there's a shock). Open and close both the cabinet and the fridge again (You have to keep an eye on those suckers, don't ya know).

11:50PM - Pick up my knitting in a last ditch effort to keep my hands and my head busy. SNL in the background. *Knit 1 Purl 2 Knit 1 Purl 2 just keep knitting, just keep knitting, knitting knitting...*

1:00AM - Sleep comes at last. This battle won. Countless more to fight.


we_be_toys said...

That durn food has a way of moving around if you keep an eye on it!
Pauvre, pauvre Bea. I know what it is to hear the siren call of the kitchen - my own kitchen was throwing down last night - I had to remind it to not stay up too late, before I went to bed (I wanted to stay, but had to give myself a stern talking to, as well).
Good post - very entertaining way to express this.

we_be_toys said...

sigh...TLJ strikes again. I meant to say, "That durn food has a way of moving around if you DON'T keep an eye on it".
I really need to learn to proofread.

flutter said...

I know, believe me, I know.

Besey C. said...

Awesome post! Congratulations on winning that skirmish. I'll think of this post the next time I get those "feed the emptiness" blues.

Oh, The Joys said...

This is when I eat a whole can of beets.

FatGirl said...

God I relate! I'm trying really hard to, whenever I'm feeling like eating, have an apple or something but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

I'm proud of myself for ignoring the oreo cookies sitting next to my computer.

Anonymous said...

What a creative way to express what I've felt so often! Good for you for working it all out!
I'm really enjoying reading your blog so far:)