Sunday, December 9, 2007

A Christmas Ditty

Twas the fortnight before Christmas and all through Home Depot
Not a white light was twinkling,they'd been bought by the people.

I stood there, face hung, in disbelief and despair,
surely just one, one little set was left there.

I'd gotten there early, pulled myself out of bed,
as visions of Christmas lights danced in my head.

So I in my sweat pants and teeth barely brushed,
Just popped down the road to run errands and such.
Now standing in front of displays oh so bare,
"You'll have to drive further", the clerk said with no care.

Away to the suburbs I flew like a flash.
Parked in the nose bleeds, and inside at a dash.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
No white lights up front. Nay! None in the rear.

As I threw up my hands, ready to leave in a huff
Down the isle a sales rep came shuffling , no rush.
His eyes they were blank and is jaw hung a' slack,
His beer gut jiggled when I asked. "Are there some in the back?"

He spoke not a word, just pointed his finger
at the carnival colors of lights left there to linger.
Then scratching his ass and cocking his head
He left me there, standing alone, seeing red.

I sighed as I purchased what little was left,
Then hiked back to my car,drove home sad and bereft.

But as I strung all those lights I saw something wonderous and new.
Merry Christmas to all-
My tree's balls have turned blue!


Cynthia said...

So now you can sing "Blue Christmas" with your very best Elvis impersonation! I loved the poem, Pukie!

Suz said...

What a cute little poem.
Your blue now matches my neighbor's blue?
Did I ever tell you what we called the blue lights growing up??

we_be_toys said...

Bea, I just love your paraphrasing skills! I think this one tops even "Losing My Provisions". The blue lights look good, too. (Nice painting - who could it be by???!)

flutter said...

Ok you are hilarious. That tree is really pretty!