Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts

Sunday, December 9, 2007

A Christmas Ditty

Twas the fortnight before Christmas and all through Home Depot
Not a white light was twinkling,they'd been bought by the people.

I stood there, face hung, in disbelief and despair,
surely just one, one little set was left there.

I'd gotten there early, pulled myself out of bed,
as visions of Christmas lights danced in my head.

So I in my sweat pants and teeth barely brushed,
Just popped down the road to run errands and such.
Now standing in front of displays oh so bare,
"You'll have to drive further", the clerk said with no care.

Away to the suburbs I flew like a flash.
Parked in the nose bleeds, and inside at a dash.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
No white lights up front. Nay! None in the rear.

As I threw up my hands, ready to leave in a huff
Down the isle a sales rep came shuffling , no rush.
His eyes they were blank and is jaw hung a' slack,
His beer gut jiggled when I asked. "Are there some in the back?"

He spoke not a word, just pointed his finger
at the carnival colors of lights left there to linger.
Then scratching his ass and cocking his head
He left me there, standing alone, seeing red.

I sighed as I purchased what little was left,
Then hiked back to my car,drove home sad and bereft.

But as I strung all those lights I saw something wonderous and new.
Merry Christmas to all-
My tree's balls have turned blue!





Friday, November 30, 2007

Mental Health Days

The alarm went off at it's usual time. 6am. It should be outlawed, nobody should have to get up at that hour. Ever. Normally I hit the snooze button about 46 times until I absolutely have to get out of bed and face the day. Today I staged a small coup. I turned the alarm off, reached for my phone and left my regrets on my boss's voice mail. And I was FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Part of the reason for not going today, was the ginormous pot luck breakfast that was scheduled for today. Not only did I not make the banana bread I had said I would, but I just wasn't feeling strong enough to withstand the abuse my diet would take when faced with the long-ass buffet line loaded with all that bacon-donut-grits-sausage-muffin-yumminess. I have been struggling this week with starting a diet(no- a healthy eating lifestyle change)and did not want to go into the weekend with that on my ever widening butt.

The next call of the Friday morning coup was to buzz She who Tap dances and corrupt her. Let's just say - Mission Accomplished.

Let's recap the day, shall we?

There was the pre battle coffee klatch,where there was much merry making and gossip flinging. Then off we went to explore the new shopping opportunities in our little town. I'm sad to say the opportunities were plentiful, and my credit card is feeling the burn. Bad news for the diet though - who knew there was a brand new chocolatier in town.. who makes their own chocolate...and has a little coffee house on the side....oh the humanity!

I believe the frivolity will carry over into evening, with adult beverages, and if I can convince everyone a John Cusak movie. (Gawd I love that man!)

All in all a good mental health day, much needed, and well spent (just ask my credit card!). I highly recommend them to charge a worn down spirit.



Being bad feels pretty good!